June is 17 months old

I just ate cookies until I felt sick.  Now I'm in bed and I haven't washed my face one single time today  but I brushed my teeth.  June is getting her 4th molar in two weeks.

She's 17 months old and I took her to the dr. today.  26 pounds and in 18 month clothes.  I took her to the doctor because she is especially ornery lately.  Turns out it's just teething.  Aye Carumba.  She is SO much work right now.  SO.  MUCH. WORK.   I am still appreciative, however that she is still a baby and she breathes like a baby and sleeps with her butt in the air even though she gives me tension headaches and dark circles and makes me eat cookies until I'm sick.  This morning in my Barre3 class my instructor told everyone she didn't feel good yesterday so she "binge-watched Empire."  I was so envious.

Charlie told me he hated me yesterday for the very first time.  I told my sister and she said "is that the first time he's said that?"  She has a 5 year old girl.

Charlie has a lot of girl friends at school and his vocabulary now includes the words "whatever" and "oh my god."  That's Makena sitting next to him in both pictures.  I'm sad she won't 'be in his class next year.






Charlie is almost 4 years old.  He hates sleeping alone and needs me to lay down next to him as he falls asleep. It's really sweet how important I am to him.  Tonight as he was falling asleep he told me he wants June to invite him to her birthday party and he wants her to come to his birthday party too.  He also can't wait until her baby voice goes away and she has long hair and can sleep in his bed every night.

Right now life is simple and my family is great.  Please give me the strength to leave my vanity aside and help me to do more yoga, to eat better and to go to sleep earlier.  Good night!

My Experience with a Colicky Baby

I just found this unpublished blog post from 1 whole year ago.  Thought I should post it.  On a side note, June is now wonderful and it was all worth it and I'd do it over again to get this toddler I have now.  On a side note, I still don't fall into bed and put lotion on my hands.

I have a three month old baby girl and she is crazy colicky.  I thought Charlie was bad but oh man, step aside.  June is scream city and she is loud!  I can't wait to get through this, to be on the other side.  I can't wait to offer my sympathies to a new mom and tell her I've been there (and I'm on the other side).  I can't wait to have some sort of of normalcy in my life!  Please, let it happen soon!

June's colic is super extreme.  This existence right now is extreme.  My body is now shaped like a C from all the bouncing.  My skin is wrecked, hair unkempt… you get it.  I don't look my best right now.  Every day is a battle filled with anxiety, fear, love, happiness, exhaustion, and again, lots and lots of bouncing.

I've given up dairy and caffeine.  I question every single thing I eat and I'm scared to eat out in public for fear that the cooks will sneak an onion into my food and as a result I'll be up that much longer at night.  We started her on acid reflux medicine and I think it's helped?  But the gas pains are still there.  I called her pediatrician today to let him know that she's still crazy and her gas is still really bad.  His advice?  To be more vigilant about burping her.  So, so awesome.  Thanks for the help.

When I do get to put her down, and when Charlie is asleep or otherwise occupied, I go into frantic "what is the priority" mode.  What is the most important task to get done right now… wash my hair, no… go to the bathroom… maybe… drink water… okay, probably.  And if I manage to get in the shower, I have to think, "what is my priority while in the shower?"  Because at any moment, the baby might start crying again and free time is over!

I dream about what I will do when I'm through this.  I'm going to wake up early, drink coffee with milk, and get ready for the day, I'm going to work out in the mornings and I'm going to eat right.  I'm going to drink wine at night, and fall into bed and put lotion on my hands while chatting with my husband about how his day went.

Is it getting better now that she's 3 months?  In some ways, yes. She has two sleep sessions on her own in her rock n play sleeper, one around 1pm and one around 8pm.  But it seems like the crying sessions are getting to be longer and louder.  She is becoming more aware and it's making it harder on her and on me.  I haven't slept longer than 4 hours in a row since she was born.  I can't sleep through her crying.  If I'm asleep and I hear her, my heart starts beating and I'm wide awake even though my body is beyond fatigued.  Just like with Charlie, I have a hard time letting anyone else take care of her when she's crying.  So on this note, I want to write down how to handle the mom of a colicky baby.  I want to get it down while I'm in the thick of things because otherwise I'll forget, just like you forget the pains of childbirth.

1.) If you see a mom with a screaming baby, don't try to give her advice in that moment, she can't hear what you are saying.  Instead, hold the door open for her, or let her go in front of you in line.

2.) If you are chatting with a mom with a colicky baby and the baby is not screaming, please (still) don't give her advice.  Instead, just listen, and say, "that is awful, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time." 

3.) If you are a friend, please barge into the new mom's house and do dishes, vacuum, do laundry, and cook.  Don't come over with advice on how to handle it all.  And under NO circumstances should you tell her to STAY POSITIVE!

4.)  Don't ever  tell a mom with a colicky baby that she looks exhausted.

5.) Don't ever tell her that you feel tired too BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT AS TIRED so just keep it to yourself!

6.) Don't buy her any baby clothes.  Colicky babies don't wear clothes, they were PJ's.  Instead, buy the mom a hydrating/exfoliating mask and a comfy blanket or sweater.

OK, that's all I wrote one year ago.  Pretty good advice to keep in mind!  I never did figure out what was wrong with her.  I chalk it up to "immature gut" just like Charlie had.

Here's my baby June at 3 months old:

And her she is now at 16 months old:

Time flies, right?